Up to date, I have lost 12 pounds. I should be rejoicing and I should be proud of myself! I am 14 pounds away from my first goal weight. I need to be HAPPY. I can not let whats going on with my guy life affect my weight loss. A guy may have hurt me and rejected me, but its nothing I haven’t experienced before and its nothing I won’t be able to overcome. I am 4 pounds away from being out of the 180’s. I’m going to start Insanity this week and I WILL lose the weight. I’m extremely excited to do Insanity and challenge my body to a new level its never been before. Although I don’t feel amazing about myself even though I’ve lost 12 pounds, I’m going to work on my self-esteem because I deserve to be happy!
Went outta town for a few days and definitely neglected my diet. Not feeling good about myself for cheating and I will be whooping my ass in the gym for next few days, eating perfect, and saying no to alcohol. Next weigh-in is on Saturday and I want to make sure it is a loss, not a plateau or a gain. My goal for this week is to do one hour of yoga in combination with my running. It feels good to start pushing myself again, I can’t lie :) :) Going to start Insanity next week, no ifs, ands, or buts :P
Today I went skydiving for my first time. I saw that the weight limit for a female to skydive was 200lbs. Seeing as I weighed myself a few days ago and I had shot up to 190lbs, I was less than ok with getting on the scale to verify I was of the appropriate weight to skydive. When I stepped on the scale though, it said 184 lbs!!! No it doesn’t make sense, but somehow my weight dropped 6lbs in 3days! I’ve been really strict on myself with the clean eating since I gained weight for week 3 of my weight loss. This doesn’t make sense, like I said, but it was the best feeling in the world to step on a scale in front of a complete stranger and feel proud. Never in my life has that happened to me and I feel like I have grown into a person I never thought I would be. I’m inspiring myself, which feels great, and I can’t wait to keep eating healthy and working out to see where I could be in a week or 2 or 3 from now.
As much as I tried to have a good week this week, I cheated ALOT, thinking it wouldn’t catch up to me. Every time I cheat, I’m cheating myself out of the weightloss I want and deserve. Out of the 7 days this week, I spent 3 of my days binging and purging, and one of my days I drank a TON of alcohol. I decided to take a rest from cardio for 2 weeks, so I’m doing Jillian Michaels Yoga Meltdown in combination with running 4x a week. Even though I’m sad about gaining weight, I deserved it because I didn’t discipline myself. Instead I cheated because I thought I could cheat the scale. Seeing as I am spending one more week without cardio, I need to make sure my nutrition is spot on. This has motivated me to try harder and to not cheat. Hard work and discipline really does pay off, so does being honest with yourself. I look forward to working my ass off for the next 7 days and hoping the scale reflects my work.
OMFG, I’m seriously so fricken proud of myself. I can’t believe how amazing I have been doing with my clean eating. Although I do feel a bit restricted at times, I have been sticking to it regardless of how much I just want to go binge on pizza or ice cream. I have had so much discipline, its incredible. I never knew I had this in me and I never knew I could push myself to do such great things. Also, my running has gotten amazing. I never expected to be able to accomplish what I have accomplished so far. I’m running faster and longer than I ever have in my life and I’m beginning to feel like an athlete almost. Never in a million years did I think I would be doing this, eating as healthy and disciplined as I am, and working out as hard as I do. It makes me more proud of myself than I could ever put in to words and it is raising my self-esteem like crazy. I’m so happy with where I am right now and its making me feel motivated to continue doing what I’m doing and go hard as a motherfucker in this weight loss journey.
today has been great so far, i finally had the courage to weigh myself, and i’ve lost 3 pounds! 2 weeks since i’ve restarted my weight loss journey and i have lost 7 pounds. pretty happy, i’m excited to continue :). 19 more pounds til I reach my first goal weight….. i can do it……
i can’t believe i’m saying this, but i actually looked in the mirror today and liked what i saw. i’m beginning to see change when i feel like i had completely given up on myself. i never in a million years thought i would be at this point. i’m so so happy and can’t wait to continue this weight loss journey. i want to weigh myself soon but i’m a bit scared. i want to wait for my official weigh in on november 3rd
omg what a good night. I have stuck to my pledge of not consuming alcohol that I made a month ago. Tonight i went to the bar with my friends and everyone was complimenting me and saying how sexy i looked. I still am having such severe problems with hating my body that I have started therapy. It was hard for me to believe people telling me how good I looked. I kept asking them why and telling them i didn’t believe them. A girl I had just met asked me how much i weigh because she said she wanted to look as sexy as me. I can’t believe it. All this hard work of counting calories, working out 7 days a week, training for a marathon, and not consuming ANY alcohol is finally paying off and other people are beginning to notice. People are beginning to LIKE my body, which, because of my body dysmorphia, i don’t understand because i only see a whale every time i look in the mirror. I can’t wait to move forward and keep working as hard as possible.